What's that awful smell?

I woke up on the couch after falling asleep watching "SNL Election Bash"on TV close to midnight - I must have been sleeping for well over an hour - so I was all cramped up. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I decided to take the doggies outside for one last pee before shluffing upstairs to bed for the rest of the night. I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch while putting on my jacket and as usual, both dogs ran ahead - and then I heard it. A russle and a hiss - there, at bottom of the porch stairs, and doing the mexican stand off with Harrison was a big old skunk. Oh the joys of country living! I could see that the skunk was all puffed up and ready to spray. I called out to the dogs, but of course they are both deaf and only the skunk could hear me yell and that probably made it worse. Harrison was closest and got it in the eyes. Poor thing! Lady hid behind me and we all retreated back up the porch and toward the door - and the skunk was following us! I was so terrified that I am still shaking. I opened the door and shooed the dogs in and ran in as fast as I could. Then the smell grabbed my nose. I can't get it out of my lungs -it just sits there. I must have emptied a bottle of febreeze into the atmosphere, but all I smell is skunk. It almost hurts.

Poor Harrison! I immediately took him to the bathroom and gave him a bath. He actually didn't get sprayed too too much because he didn't feel wet, but his eyes are stinging him visibly, and he smells.... After the bath, he doesn't smell so bad, but I have a feeling that I'll be wearing perfume for a while (something I rarely do). I'll bet even my s.i.l. Terry would smell this.

Now I am wide awake and with my lungs full of "eau de skunk" - I am having a hell of a time falling asleep. I think I'll take a long hot shower and try to cleanse my soul or lungs or nose or all of the above.

Now I know the true meaning of misery...