Is there such a thing as funeral etiquette?

I went to a funeral this past weekend. No one in the immediate family, but an old family friend. Someone I had known for 45 years - a lady whose children I babysat when I was barely old enough to do so. It was a very moving ceremony, her husband was visibly broken by the death of his longtime love.  We (my brother, his wife and my sister)  drove for over and hour in terrible weather to get there, and my father, who also came to the funeral, drove from Sherbrooke to Laval in the same terrible weather (that's over 2 and a half hours). At the end of the ceremony, we were told that we now needed to leave the hall so that the close family could gather together for a meal.  We were not invited.  We had left in the morning, had no time for lunch and now had to turn around and go home. I always thought that those little sandwiches you get at a funeral were meant for travellers who came from a distance to pay their respects - so they don't find themselves in a strange neighbourhood frantically looking for a place to eat.  Also, I would have liked to spend a little more time reconnecting with the family members, some who I had not seen in over 10 years.  The sermon was so long - it lasted over 2 hours that we didn't have that much time to see and talk to everyone.

Am I gripping?  I don't know - It's not because I wanted free food ( I was starving and plain old peanut butter sandwhiches would have been fine) - it's just that I felt a little jostled out of the way. That's not how I want anyone to feel at my funeral (which hopefully this won't happen any time soon).  So, for all who will be around when I do go -please make sure that everyone who makes the  effort to come and pay their respects gets fed before leaving.